I have been writing my romance Christian novel for quite a while now. As a male, the challenge for me is to describe the many different kinds of gestures a female character has. The toughest part, however, is to express what and how she thinks, feels, or reacts in different situations. What do I do?
As I write about the main female character in a particular situation that she encounters, for example, I usually think back to the times when my girlfriend (now my wife) faced a similar situation. Those memories inspire me with fresh ideas; they take me back to those moments when I understood her more. At some point in time during our marriage, I thought I totally understood her, but in fact I did not.
Later, I learned that loving and understanding my wife was a process that should last a life time. I also came to realize that if I could write about how my female character expressed in detail, why couldn’t I understand my own wife more and more?
A girl may not directly tell a boy what and how she thinks of a situation because she would like him to be more sensitive to her need as a way to show her his love. For a boy to express his true heart to a girl, love and understanding should go hand in hand. A girl’s heart is like the bottom of a deep ocean in the sense that it is out there for a boy who loves her to explore, to discover and to find out her needs. Perhaps her need is to get his undivided attention, to be embraced in his affection, or to have him plan a date with her, or…well the list goes on.
Oftentimes I stop writing my story midway as I know that I need to pay all my attention to my wife. Loving her and understanding her should be my priority in my marriage life. Moreover, I plan dates for both of us as a way to keep our romance ‘alive.’
Ephesians 5:25 (NIV): Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her